oops!

zappaDPJ · May 20, 2010, 18:07:27

Getting on for 10 years ago I installed a small office system for a friend. Nearly 10 years on they are still using the same system because to be truthful, he's a tight git

A couple of days ago he brought me one of the PCs to repair because it 'was behaving rather strangely'. After removing well over 25 unique viruses and cleaning exactly 1020 infected files, I restored the PC to full health and went to his offices today to put it back on the network.

While I was there I checked the other PCs on the system, cleaned them up and gave the whole network a clean bill of health. To do this I had to download a couple of applications from my server and I noticed his net connection was dead slow. When I asked him about it he shrugged and said I recommended it around 10 years ago. I did a speed test to get the provider and noticed the actual result was 0.45 MB/s in both directions

I phoned the provider, Eclipse who were a little perplexed and asked if they could phone back in 5 minutes. This they did and I was informed that the speeds I'd reported were exceptionally good...

...for a 0.5 MB/s connection

He's been on the same package at the same tariff (£25 + VAT) for 10 years. He ignored the emails invite him to take advantage of Eclipse's 1 MB/s & 2 MB/s & 4 MB/s & 8 MB/s & 24 MB/s packages because they were 'too technical' for him to understand. The rather helpful lady at Eclipse was clearly very embarrassed and highly amused all at the same time. After we'd both had a good laugh about it she offered to put him on a 24 MB/s monthly package for £11.99 a month.

Lance · May 20, 2010, 18:12:34

I thknk you need to take commission on the new 24mb deal!

Rik · May 20, 2010, 18:18:21

I think you need to charge a consultancy fee.

quandam · May 20, 2010, 18:22:59

Explains how AOL, Sky (Connect), Pipex, 02 Access, Talk Talk and similar make money

Rik · May 20, 2010, 18:24:44

True, Q.

zappaDPJ · May 20, 2010, 18:26:40

Well I think I might just let him keep the savings, he'll need them to pay the bill for me cleaning his PC. It took 3 days to do something that normally takes me around 30-60 minutes. Some the viruses that are around just now are really nasty. Even when completely removed the invisible payload delivered renders a PC drive contents useless and there is currently nothing you can download from the net to help resolve the problems.

Rik · May 20, 2010, 18:27:31

We shouldn't let them loose by themselves, Zap.

zappaDPJ · May 20, 2010, 18:34:40

I must admit I'm astounded by the basic lack of computer knowledge in his office. They still have the worksheets that tell them how to turn the PC on and run Microsoft Word that I supplied 10 years ago on view

Rik · May 20, 2010, 18:35:18

Ouch. They're not running Windows Me are they?

zappaDPJ · May 20, 2010, 18:36:38

Not quite, XP PRO & Office 2000

quandam · May 20, 2010, 18:36:57

Quote from: zappaDPJ on May 20, 2010, 18:26:40
Well I think I might just let him keep the savings, he'll need them to pay the bill for me cleaning his PC. It took 3 days to do something that normally takes me around 30-60 minutes. Some the viruses that are around just now are really nasty. Even when completely removed the invisible payload delivered renders a PC drive contents useless and there is currently nothing you can download from the net to help resolve the problems.

Who is your post directed to? Definitely not clear.

Rik · May 20, 2010, 18:37:51

Quote from: zappaDPJ on May 20, 2010, 18:36:38
Not quite, XP PRO & Office 2000

Well, the OS is OK then.

Lance · May 20, 2010, 18:42:07

Quote from: quandam on May 20, 2010, 18:36:57
Who is your post directed to? Definitely not clear.

Not sure I follow, Q?

Rik · May 20, 2010, 18:44:28

I took it to be you and me, at replies 1 & 2, Lance.

Lance · May 20, 2010, 18:48:09

So did I, thinking that it was obvious so thought I would check to see if I was missing something.

Rik · May 20, 2010, 18:49:43

It was, you weren't.

Lance · May 20, 2010, 18:50:06

Rik · May 20, 2010, 18:51:41

quandam · May 20, 2010, 18:52:10

Quote from: Lance on May 20, 2010, 18:42:07
Not sure I follow, Q?

Directed at Zappa's post.

Lance · May 20, 2010, 18:53:12

Quote from: quandam on May 20, 2010, 18:52:10
Directed at Zappa's post.

I think it was extremely clear, Q, that it was directed at me and Rik.

quandam · May 20, 2010, 18:55:14

OK no problem, let's move on.

Niall · May 21, 2010, 10:25:34

Quote from: zappaDPJ on May 20, 2010, 18:34:40
I must admit I'm astounded by the basic lack of computer knowledge in his office. They still have the worksheets that tell them how to turn the PC on and run Microsoft Word that I supplied 10 years ago on view

It's the same in my place. I used to get emails complaining that I'd altered the resolution on a PC, insisting that I come to the other end of the building to fix it as they couldn't understand the concept of right clicking the desktop and selecting a tab, then moving a slider.

It's a good job the PCs are as secure as any I've ever seen. You can't do anything at all with them other than browse a select few unblocked websites. Oh, and do your job

Rik · May 21, 2010, 10:31:27

I'm amazed a Govt department could produce an IT system that allowed that, Niall.

Niall · May 21, 2010, 10:35:45

It is a VERY secure system. The only way to actually pinch information from it would be literally to write it down.

Rik · May 21, 2010, 10:42:38

Do they ban paper and pens, then?