Making my own Wi-fi Broadband!

[Technical Ben]

After the bank turned me down for my last commercial endeavour, I've decided to look elsewhere to improve my internet connection.

I've read about WiMAX and how it's allowing people to connect to the internet in areas completely broadband less. With speeds of up to 40 Mbit/s over 30 miles, it sounds great. However I don't have expensive equipment and the banks not keen to invest. So I will have to look at "alternative" methods of data transmission.
During my research this news story of one South African business came up. They are using carrier pigeon to transfer data. So off I went to get myself 2 pigeons (I want 2 way data transfers you see).

So for £40, I have 2 birds, and some complementary "bird seed". (Note to self: Must find out how much seed costs, is it cheap?) But before I send them off I thought I'd calculate the cost and transfer rate expected. The birds are rated for carrying 75 grams. A Micro SD card can be up to 32Gb and weighs just 0.5 grams. With 150 of these packed in at 33mm long, 30mm wide and 25mm deep, they fit snugly on the birds back. I've hit a little snag at finding a supply of 300 cards, and there is the £25,839 cost. But I think Amazon accepts bulk orders and may give a discount.
   So we now have 4,800GB* per bird, at a cost of £12,939.50p each. They travel at 90kmph (that's 56mph for us old fogeys). Using London as a rough guide for the distance required, I beat WiMax rage of 50km (30miles**), at 144.85km, or 90 miles. The birds should be able to easily make the trip in 96 minutes. I'll be generous and give them one hour and forty minutes just in case there is a head wind.
   So now the journey is set up, we just need to get the data on the cards and calculate the transfer rate. Well, this is where we hit a snag. At only 100Mbit/s transfer for each card, it's going to take an age*** to transfer on one lone card reader. But as they are cheep, only £2 each, I can run them in a series of 10. Perhaps 5 readers over two PCs or some such setup. Each with a small amount of bird seed perched on top to attract the pigeons. This reduces our transfer time to 38,400 seconds, or 21 hours and 20 minutes. Add to that the travel time of 100 minutes and we get a total transfer rate of 3.478GB per minute. Or in easy to understand terms, 463.3Mbps. If we only require 46Mbps it's a much more reasonable £1371.95 per bird, excluding seed.
   We now have an easy, very chirp cost, country wide wireless broadband that beats WiMax speed. The only thing left to decide is a name for this new broadband service. "Pigeon Integrated - Personal Internet" was my first consideration.

PS, seems I have a bit of competition. WiMAX is planning 1Gbit/s access! I may have to inquire about a Golden Eagle...

*4.8 Terrabytes!
**31.07 Miles to be precise.
***That is 106 hours and 40 minutes. Just over 4 days.

[Steve]

I think the latency could be a problem for gaming

[Technical Ben]

At 48 hours, really? 

[pctech]

I think RFC2549 covers it.

[quandam]

Not deeply into this but relying on 'birds', 'bird seed', 'carrier pigeons' and 'chirps' etc etc seems a bit 'iffy' to me. I would say, think again?

[Technical Ben]

So your saying I'm better off investing in a buzzard then Q? 

[Rik]

Eagle, Ben.

[quandam]

So your saying I'm better off investing in a buzzard then Q?  

Your choice!

[cavillas]

How about a number of Swifts?  They fly faster.

[Rik]

Only in season, Alf.

[talos]

But with a pigeon you can at least eat the carrier

[Glenn]

How about a number of Swifts?  They fly faster.

Or a peregrine falcon, they would offer a premium service.

[Baz]

Ben,please be very very careful about transferring your data this way.

THIS IS A SCAM!!!!!!!!

put briefly,the birds will simply fly back to their home......homing pigeons......ie the person from whom you bought them.

dats lost,sold on,abused etc 

[Steve]

You seem to feeding us some seeds of doubt I suppose it would be cheap,cheap 

[Rik]

[Simon]

I've heard that Millets are interested in marketing this.   

[pctech]

Does seem to be a bit of a bird brain of an idea.

[Bill]

I've heard that Millets are interested in marketing this.   

Coo 

[Rik]

 

[Glenn]

Sounds like you are all scratching around for fresh ideas

[Glenn]

You all know if you want your service to be a soar away success, you need Condors.

[Rik]

I'm not sure I can take much more.

[Glenn]

don't flap.

[Simon]

You'll be winging it off for lunch soon, anyway. 

[Rik]

You're right there - DR burger.

[Glenn]

I just had a couple of 4oz'ers

[Rik]

I'm on a single 8oz.

[Simon]

Same here! 

[Technical Ben]

Trust Ric to bring the conversation back to reality... Hmmm now where is that Pie? 

[Den]

I don'y know about this it sounds a bit dodgy but it will most likely be OK for Twitter 

[pctech]

 

[Bill]

Rik will be spitting feathers soon.

[pctech]

 

[Technical Ben]

I don'y know about this it sounds a bit dodgy but it will most likely be OK for Twitter 

[Rik]

Same here! 

It's obviously burger day for the staff.

[Simon]

Mine was a lamb burger. 

[Rik]

Beef.

[Simon]

Carnivore?

[Rik]

Whichever is the largest, I never remember the names.

[Glenn]

They are easy to tell apart, cows go moo, sheep baa

[Rik]

And Scrooge goes humbug.

[pctech]

I prefer beef too but a roast leg of lamb is nice.

[Rik]

So much choice, so little time to eat it all...

[Glenn]

Venison is great, I had Skippy last week too, I got him pinned to the plate so he couldn't hop away.

[Rik]

[pctech]

 

[Glenn]